I was not always comfortable talking about the chronic illness I lived with. People would ask me about it and I would try to avoid the conversation, but now I can't stop talking about it - hence the blog
Due to being so young when I was diagnosed I did not really know how to talk about diabetes. I remember the first day I got back to school after being diagnosed my mom came with me to explain to my class my chronic illness and what it meant for me. It was nice to have diabetes out in the open, because it really should not be something to hide. I wanted to openly be me without judgement, and by having my classmates be able to understand it made everything easier.
As I got older and had a better understanding of my diabetes I was capable of communicating what it meant for me on my own. But as I entered middle school I knew all about my chronic illness, but I was not comfortable communicating it. To be honest I often hid it, which is completely embarrassing. As many of you probably know, in middle school there is this stigma that if you are normal you will be liked. Meaning anything that could make you different than others around you, such as diabetes, would give people a reason to judge you. I would often hide my tester when I was checking my blood sugar under the lunch table hoping no one will notice so I did not have to hold a conversation about it. I even would try to have my pump be located in a spot on my body that no one could see. Being ashamed or embarrassed about being a Type 1 Diabetic is so sad for me to think about now because it is such a large part of my life.
Two things allowed me to be more comfortable with my self and diabetes. I first learned that so many people wanted to know more, and were very curious about what it was. People ask me questions all the time about what I have to do, how many times I have to check, how I know how many carbohydrates I am eating, and so much more. They are curious about so many things that come so naturally to me. They are not only wanting to know more about it, but I found many people think it is very cool. The second thing I learned is that diabetes defines a large portion of my life. It is involved in so many aspects, why would I try and hide it. Having diabetes has made me who I am. This might sound crazy, but I honestly think diabetes has added to my character. I feel that I am so much more aware of myself and my surroundings because of diabetes. I always need to know where my numbers are and how I am feeling, so I find that I am always in touch with my body. Additionally, it has given me the interest of what I want for my future. I am not sure if I want to be a doctor working with diabetics, but I know I want to be in the medical field. Diabetes has given me so many interests and knowledge, why would I want to hide it.
I found that once I became comfortable with who I was, I LOVE talking about diabetes. I get questions all the time, and find myself spilling every aspect of diabetes. The best part of this, is that now I understand that people are asking these questions because they want to know more. This is almost a compliment, because it means that people want to learn more about you and what you are experiencing.
Lastly, now being in college, I find it very important to tell people all about diabetes and what it endures. I do not have the support of my parents here to help if a situation were to happen. When first getting to college, I explained to my roommate that I had diabetes. In addition to this I felt it was very important to also let her know what to do in cases of emergencies. I explained how glucose was needed when I am low, insulin when I am high, and then if I am every extremely low and to the point that I faint; I showed her my glucagon pen and how it worked. Being able to communicate all ends of diabetes is extremely necessary, because if anything were to happen I would hope to be surrounded by people who would know what to do. All my friends in high school and here in college know all about diabetes, and engage in conversations about it all the time because they know it is such a huge part of my life, thus theirs. I have shared my chronic illness with my teammates, and so appreciative that I have such a strong support group around me being four hours from home. I would hope that everyone with diabetes is able to share their story, and feel comfortable with the lifestyle they are living because it is honestly so incredible.
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